Boys Weekend, Part 3 - A New and Old Story
Well we have officially been blogging weekly now for over 3 years. I mark the occasion yearly with my “boys weekend” that happens about the same time every year. This year’s getaway was a couple weeks ago and it was a little different this year. The regular characters didn’t change neither did the visited establishments but there was a big difference this year. Kori had to take Number 4 to Denver for a dance competition so I invited Number 3 to join me on my yearly trip as he was on spring break from college.
I was unsure how it would go having him tag along with me and all my adult male friends. He has always been a good conversationalist and my friends are all good guys so I knew that would go fine. He fit in just like one of the guys. More importantly he got to see what it is that brings me joy and meet my friends that I make time for once a year.
Recently, Kori and I have talked about how important it is for my boys to see what brings me joy. Most of my time with them focuses on what is important to them. Whether it is school, friends, dance, sports or music, most of our conversations revolve around what makes our kids tick. That is intentional as we constantly work hard to build relationships and get them to talk to us and have conversations about their priorities. This is how we help them discern who they will be when they grow up. It is our opinion that this is one of our most important jobs as parents; to help them grow into their own independent thinkers and compassionate beings.
We also believe it is important for our kids to see us as independent thinkers and compassionate beings. What is it that makes me as a dad and adult male tick? Who do I surround myself with? What do I do to disconnect from the normal activities that go on daily for me? What do I put my energy and passion towards? There are other questions that I could address, but I think you get the picture. Kids need to see that their parents deserve time to be adults first and parents second.
I would say the weekend was successful in that Number 3 got to see first hand what happens on my boys weekend. He got to meet some great guys that I consider my friends. He got in some good laughs at my expense. He and I developed a stronger relationship as men and he got to see something I am passionate about, which is my fantasy baseball league.
On the ride back, I dropped him off at college. During our drive, we talked a lot about the weekend. He was glad to see what brought me joy and spend time with me and meet my friends. He enjoyed all the banter and getting some good digs in on dad. With all that being said, I am not certain he will be returning any time soon with me for my annual retreat. It really wasn’t about him, it was more about me. As parents, our kids see one side of us and that side caters to their needs more than our own. I will invite him every year from now on but it will be up to him whether he wants to join me. He doesn’t have to love what I do, I just wanted him to see it once.