Almost 2 weeks ago already, Kori and I got away for the weekend. With 4 kids at home, it was hard to find time for ourselves and we poured it all into our kids. Weekends seemed like endless soccer games, baseball practice or tournaments, dance competitions and show choir competitions. Our weekends were always full and fun. Plus we haven’t lived by family in over 12 years so we never had built in babysitters, which for me gave me anxiety leaving our 4 with a friend. So, even though my wife had asked numerous times over the years, my control freak tendencies won over time after time.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but the last time my wife and I got away together for more than a weekend was for our 10 year anniversary. Since then, any time away together was when I could add on during one of her work trips. We would go in a day early and spend it by ourselves before her conference would begin. We have now been married almost 26 years. I would have to say this has been one of my biggest fails as a husband and now that we have gotten away, I want to do it again!
We flew out to Phoenix and used Kori’s points at a resort. We had spa treatments, we sat by the pool enjoying a cocktail or two, we got a sun tan when people back home were still wearing their sweatshirts, we enjoyed some great food and the best part was that we reconnected as a couple. Alone time can do that. There was nothing on our schedule and no one else to plan for. We could do what we wanted, and we choose to do nothing and that was awesome. We had time to discuss our relationship and our dreams for the future. We had time to talk about our kids and what we hoped would be their future but we didn’t focus on them the whole time.
When I am in my comfort zone, my house and my schedule, it’s easy for me to forget what’s really important in my life. After God, she always should be next, but for me, I can easily get my priorities messed up and there are times that she has become more of an after thought than a priority. My failure to keep my priorities in the right order has led me down some paths that I never end well for me and leave her feeling taken for granted.
I don’t mean to bore you with our relationship details but rather to help you learn from my mistakes. Date your wife often and plan trips away with her. Take it from a control freak, when your priorities are messed up your life will be messed up too. The saying “A happy wife, a happy life,” is so true. I will take it a step further too by saying that I didn’t even know how much I needed that time with her as well. I felt like I got to know her all over again. Getting out of my rut and comfort zone helped me with a new appreciation for her and what she means to me.
We already started planning our next time away. We know where we will go and now we just have to find the weekend to schedule it. Needless to say it won’t take another 10 years to schedule this trip, maybe just a couple of months. It is worth the wait to get to spend quality time with the one person I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with!