How We Make Them Feel
Last week my blog was about a weekly podcast that Kori and I listen to. There were two quotes that stuck with me from the podcast. I talked about the first one last week, and this week, I will focus on the second one. “People don’t remember what you say to them but they will remember how you made them feel.” Those are powerful words and I have been thinking about them quite a bit since last week.
I would say I can relate well to this statement. Partly because I have a poor memory and can forget quickly what people say to me, just ask my wife(LOL) and partly because it is so easy to remember how others make me feel. There are those people that enter your life that are so positive and make you feel like you matter and that you make a difference. Then there are those that are so toxic, it’s hard to recover from even after they are no longer around. Those feelings, both good and bad, still linger long after the interactions are over. So how does this relate to my family? Kori and I work extremely hard to make sure our kids always feel like they matter and they are important to us. There is nothing that is more important to us that they all know they are loved and respected for the people they are and each of them add great value to our family.
I am sure I have talked about this before but it is worth repeating. When Kori is with at least one of the kids, you can be sure some version of the following statement will be made by her. “Do you know you are loved by mom and dad and you are made perfect in God’s image?” Most times the kids, and it doesn’t matter which one, will react with rolling their eyes as they try to change the subject. Even so, you can just watch their body reaction to such a loving comment. They melt right there. They know in their heart they are loved and the reaction can't be contained.
My approach isn’t as direct and doesn’t happen as often but it can be just as successful and powerful. My attempts to make them feel important usually happen during one on one time. Sometimes it can even be through text messages. I try to focus on specific circumstances or events that occur and use those to reinforce how special each of our kids are. I have had several trips with my kids over the last few months that has offered great opportunities for me to tell and show them what they mean to me and hopefully positively influence how they feel about me and themselves.
Just like any family, I have a different relationship with our four then my wife does and they are showed love in many ways. My hope is that we have been able to make them feel they are special and important to us. Whether it was a text message, voicemail, statement in passing or emotional conversation, we never want to miss a chance to make a difference in their lives. This is a never-ending proposition. It never gets old and it never has to be faked. There isn’t a more important job that we have as parents than to make sure our kids feel loved, respected and worthy. There isn’t an age that this stops. For as long as Kori and I are on this earth, we will always affirm our kids as our greatest gifts and that they are perfect to God and to us.